Crazy Gig Stories by and for Working Musicians

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A Bloody Disaster

Rochester, NY, USA
Type of Gig: 

I had been practicing with a metal band for months. We had a very short set list and had played the songs literally THOUSANDS of times. Thinking that we were ready to hit the stage, we booked some shows.

The time for the first show comes and we're excited to finally play out. The vocalist's mother had even flown in from outside the country to see her child. A slight hold up occurs as the drummer's ride appears at the last second and we have to load a giant drum kit into this little jeep thing. Meanwhile, another friend with a pickup truck is there and takes (get this) the drum throne!

Everyone finally gets to the venue and I've got the shakes because of drinking so much cheap beer the previous night to calm my nerves. I had known that we were to wear makeup, but what I had not counted on was applying it for EVERYONE.

Sloppy makeup on, we go up for a sound check and the keyboard gives the sound guy a problem. We wait while he figures out that it's because he's stupid and makes everything work.

We try to play the songs, but I'm the only one who remembers them and my hands won't work because of excitement and alcohol withdrawal. We botch and butcher EVERY SONG!

Theatrics on stage had been mentioned, but not planned. During one song, there was supposed to be a vampire bite scene and the band was supposed to bite blood capsules. We get to that song and here comes our friend in a cape and even worse makeup than the band. A girl barely 5 feet tall comes up from the other side of the stage. They do the bite thing, but not knowing what to do next, they stay on stage. Suddenly, the girl has the bright idea to pretend to bite the string section. The bassist is bitten without my knowledge and suddenly, I'm forced into a limbo position as the short girl pretends to bite me.

During all of this, the blood capsule is dissolving in my mouth. By the time we get to the right section, it's gotten stuck and unstuck in a few places and I bite some horrid tasting mush. I spit it the best I can and just keep having to spit to not swallow any. The vocalist stops playing keyboard and singing because she's being a baby about the blood capsule. Another song down the pipes.

The end of the song comes and I go to spit to my right, not knowing that the short girl is right there. The fake blood spit hits the floor only inches from her.

Overall, it was a disaster, but a fun disaster. We continued to butcher our over-practiced songs at the next few shows, before playing one good one.

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